As we head into 2021, are you hoping for a bit more balance in your life?
Collectively, we might find we get more balance as things eventually return to some sort of normal – but what about a more personal equilibrium? It’s that feeling of calmness and being grounded which comes naturally when we feel we have a balance in our lives. So where does it come from and how can we get it?
We talk about balance a lot, particularly with respect to our diet and fitness and especially at the start of a New Year. This is just one aspect of a holistic balance that we need to be happy and healthy.
Looking more closely, balance is when we feel that all the aspects of our life are satisfied and we are not being pulled too much in any one direction. It is interesting that sometimes what we think we need to create balance is not what we actually need. How many people craved more time only to find that when it was imposed on them in lockdown it did not bring the fulfilment they had hoped? In order to be fully balanced, we need the many unique facets of our lives to be acknowledged and nurtured, both externally and internally. This means giving time to each facet of our lives and not letting one overtake the other. The balance will be different for each of us and what works for you won’t be the same as what works for me. It’s an individual journey.
So where do we start?
Firstly, how do we know if our life is unbalanced? It may be that from the perspective of someone else, we have too much alone time or too much work, but for us it is ideal. I know that I need a little time alone for reflection each week, and if that doesn’t happen I really notice the difference to my feeling of balance. For some of my friends, it’s important to make time to chat, have time at the gym, to walk, to meditate or read. The key is to look closely and honestly at ourselves and acknowledge if we feel uncomfortable about any aspect of our lives – work, family, friends, hobbies and so on. If we feel uncomfortable or pressured about work, for example, it may be that we don’t have the balance we need there. Likewise, we may feel like we do not get time to make plans for our dreams and wishes.
A good technique is to think about what we deeply yearn for and consider if introducing this purposefully, even just as an aspiration for the future, will bring some balance into our lives. We may not be in a position to achieve our wish right now, but planning and contemplating it will help bridge that gap and help it materialise in the future.
It’s helpful to make a list of the important and key areas of your life and score them 1 to 10, if an area feels balanced it should get a 5. If you are yearning for more it should score 1 to 4 and if you feel you have too much, score 6 to 10. The next step is to see if any of the things that are out of kilter are temporary, perhaps due to lockdown, or can be fixed by a few tweaks to your daily life. It could be as simple as making sure you take fifteen minutes a day to read an inspirational book rather than read the news – again! Review your scores once a month for three months and see the difference.
Of course, it’s not always possible to change our circumstances, we have financial and family responsibilities we can’t just drop. The answer is to check if the area of our life that is out of balance is external or internal. If it is external and we cannot change it, then we need to work harder on our internal state, ie. our state of mind. Put simply, by nurturing our inner selves we can bring the scales back into balance even if we can’t adapt our external situations. If our job feels too pressured and busy, using the free time we do have in a really meaningful way brings our lives back into equilibrium: perhaps unplugging, having quiet time, breathing meditation, walking meditation, long baths, whatever works for you.
Conversely, if you feel there is something lacking from your external life, for example feeling a bit lost or bored outside of work, focus on bringing another aspect into your life. This may be a new hobby or learning a skill, meditating or joining a new class. Again, see what lifts your mind and brings the balance. Use the fabulous Harmonious Hub shop and blogs for ideas and products which inspire.
The key is to remember that feeling balanced is just that – a feeling. Be empowered to know that you can create a balanced feeling even if some aspects of your life cannot be changed. Be aware and honest about the many facets in your life, adapt and change what you can and counterbalance what you can’t change.
It’s a brilliant skill to have, and one which helps me work with whatever life throws at me. What do you already do for a sense of balance, or do you want to cultivate it more in 2021? Let me know in the comments and remember to sign up for more harmonious moments in 2021 below with our blog: